You know you've lived in Dubai too long when ... , Dubai, U.A.E.

You know when you have lived in the Dubai too long when...
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As plagiarized/corrected/amended from an email circulating around (mid April 1999):

You know you have lived in the Dubai too long when...

You enjoy camping in the sand
You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is racy
You serve coffee in a thimble
You expect the confirmation of your flight reservation to be 'inshahallah"
You think everyone's first name is Al
You don't expect to eat dinner until 10.30pm
You need a sweater when it's 80 deg F
Your ideal holiday is anywhere you can eat pork
You have to write an official apology if your toes are uncovered
You expect everyone to own a GSM
Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy
You think a picnic means pulling over on the side of the road with your TV and sheeshah
You think that skis were developed for sand use
You think speed limits are only advisory
You expect to see tractors driving at 40kmph on the motorway
You know whether or not you are in the missile range of Iraq's Scuds
You think black is appropriate day time wear
You think it's normal to play golf on the sand and putt on the browns
You expect to go to jail when a local hits your car from behind at a stop sign
You wear a jacket inside and take it off outside
You think a shopping mall is a covered souq
You can judge a perfect '10' by her ankles
You don't question how an ID card works for women wearing abayas
You think carpets belong on the wall
You think the further you edge into the intersection, the faster the light will turn green
You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the interval between the time the light turns green and the guy behind you starts blowing his horn
You give directions by land marks instead of by road names
You think a desert storm is a war
You can receive every television station except the local one
You think being liberated is sitting in the family section of a restaurant
You think a red light means run it
You think only men should hold hands in public
You understand that wadi bashing isn't a criminal act
You make left turns from the far right lane
You make right turns from the far left lane
You make U turns from any lane you want
You know a traffic jam on this side of the road means an accident on the other side
You measure time by the prayer calls
You know that your Internet charges per month are more than buying a new computer
You don't expect the traffic police to stop you for a traffic offence
You know that the colour of your skin is your entry criteria
You think driving with your foot on the dashboard is cool
You find everybody thinks they can speak Englis'
You can't figure out if the city's name is Djubai or Dyubai
You think Bebsi is better than Coke
You shake your empty Cappuccino cup when you've had enough
You think a Jumeira Jane's outlook to life is normal
Having a belly is a sign of being healthy
It's OK for a woman to have a moustache and sometimes even a beard
You think the hazard lights are fog warning lights
You find you've visited all the new malls that mushroom by the minute
You still buy Dubai Duty Free's lottery tickets when it would have been cheaper to pay the down payment for the BMW instead
You've left dust tracks in all the hotels along Jumeriah beach
You know which side of a shawarma to unwrap first
You look forward to rainy days

Many thanks to Baldilox, Muse, and Liquid for their help.

Some interesting Links of what people have written about Dubai.

A South African's Brutally Honest Guide to Moving to Dubai

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times since April 20 1999